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Welcome to PLSJ Podcast! Brought to you by the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County.
Here we share popular questions asked by patrons, find out what leaders in our community are reading,
interview local authors, and so much more!

Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.

Out and About with Joan McGlone, author of “The House on Seventh Street.”

Out and About with Brian Hershey, author of “Damned to Live” book #2 of his werewolf trilogy.

 Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.

 This award-winning writer recounts the stories of Ohio’s most notorious vixens, viragoes, and villainesses.

 Journey outside of the box with a surreal tale of tech with PLSJ’s Technology Coordinator, O.J. Meeks.

 Interview about the biography of Millie Benson, the Nancy Drew Ghostwriter.

 Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.

 Out and about with Lisa Mort, Life Coach and Breathwork Instructor at the Empowered Wellness Studio here in Steubenville.

 Enjoy a quirky take on tech with PLSJ’s Technology Coordinator O.J. Meeks.

Hello, hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Technically Speaking. My name is O.J. Meeks. I am the Technology Coordinator for the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County.

In today’s episode, I would like to tell you about 2 very useful services that our library provides that you may not be aware of.

I may tell a true story or 2 about some of these useful services. If I happen to tell one of these true stories I will be sure not to divulge the identity of those who are in my stories. Any names that I use are fictitious. Also any resemblance to a real person is completely coincidental.

Ok, let’s get into it.

One service that we provide is free access to magazine subscriptions. Our patrons have free access to current and past issues of magazines like, Consumer Reports, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Motor Trend, People, Sports Illustrated, Time and many, many more. If you have a library card with us, you will have access to all of these magazines for free. You can view them on your computer or on a mobile device any time you wish.

Talking about subscriptions reminds me of someone who was subscribed to something that no one would ever want to be subscribed to.

A gentleman in his early 70s came to me one day for a scheduled tech help. He was a feisty, and loud individual. He had very little patience for just about anything. He was a large, broad shouldered man, who may have been some kind of weight lifter back in the day. I mean he seriously could have lifted me and two other people, at the same time, and thrown us across the street. Even though he was over 70.

One very intriguing thing about him was his outlandish maroon toupee. It just made him complete. To protect his identity I will call him Arnold Schnauzershower.

Arnold Schnauzershower sat down to explain to me his predicament. But first he went off about an incident at the front desk. He started with, “I told them at the front desk I wanted to see O.J. Then this freaking idiot hits me with his gigantic walker. I told him well excuuuuuuse me buster. Sorry to take up your space.

That idiot told me to “Pipe down loudmouth. I didn’t hurt you!”

If he wasn’t already a gum flappin idiot I’d have knocked his false teeth clean outta his mouth, let me tell you. I’d have terminated that old buzzard.”

I instantly knew, this was going to be great!

“So what have you come in for Arnold Schnauzershower.” I asked.

“Call me Arnie son. Most people do.” So I called him Arnold Schnauzershower.

Arnold Schnauzershower continued, “Somethings wrong with my computer. Stupid thing is slooooowww as molasses son. I had some tech company come fix it and I think they just made it worse. No, I know they made it worse. American company my brass. There ain’t no way Mike from Maine or Rita from Florida all have the same freakin foreign accent. I have no problem with anyone from another country, but be honest about where you come from rammit. Have a little pride.”

“What company is it that you used to fix your computer?” I asked.

Arnold Schnauzershower replied, “Oh some outfit that popped up on my computer one day. They said I had a problem with my computer that needed fixed right away. They gave me a deal I guess. I called the number and they said they would fix the problem on the spot one time only for $350. Or I could purchase a $300 subscription every 6 months to keep my computer from any viruses and such. Well I’m no idiot. I went for the subscription.”

“How long have you been with this company?” I asked.

Arnold Schnauzershower said, “About 2 years last Friday. That’s when I told them idiots off. I called the 1-800 number because I was having some computer trouble. Amanda from Alabama, born and raised she told me, answered the phone. Funny accent for someone from Alabama. Cause I ask them up front, Where the shell are you from cause I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

“Well she went through a couple of them diagnostic tests. Then she said she fixed my computer. I told her it wasn’t fixed. So she had me transferred to a level 2 tech. The level 2 tech did find a problem. They told me there was a problem with some kind of Colonel. I was like Colonel who? Colonel Sanders. I have no idea what they were talking about. They said my current subscription needed upgraded to fix this kind of problem. They wanted $100 to upgrade. I told them where they could put their upgrade. They told me to have a nice day. I told them to rot in, wellllllllll I won’t get into too much more detail about what I told them after that.”

“As soon as I got off the phone with them my computer started getting a lot worse. It’s rammed near impossible to use now.”

I informed Arnold Schnauzershower “I believe these people are not a legitimate computer company. They are taking advantage of you. If you used a credit or debit card to pay them, have your financial institution issue you a new card right away. They could potentially wipe out your account.”

“What the chuck?” bellowed Arnold Schnauzershower. “I had a sneaking suspicion they were Predators. I get my hands on them I’ll send them soaring to the U.S. state they said they was from?”

I started up Arnold Schnauzershower’s laptop to confirm my suspicions.

After 10 full minutes it finally booted up.

I poked around and found that they still had remote access software installed on the laptop.

I told Arnold Schnauzershower “This so-called computer company still has access to your computer. They can change settings or control it at any time. The only way to ensure this company is out of your computer is to wipe your hard drive and factory reset it. I can do this but it will take a while.”

“Well I’ll be rammed son. That’s awful kind of you.” Replied a thankful Arnold Schnauzershower.

Arnold Schnauzershower got up, straightened out his back and his maroon toupee, which had gotten quite a bit out of alignment.

Then Arnold Schnauzershower told me “I’ll be back.”

Arnold Schnauzershower was indeed back for quite a few more adventures, but those are stories for another time.

Hey have you ever wondered what people eat in Albania? Maybe you need a recipe from Greece? Perhaps you would like to know what the food culture is in Norway? Check out our A-Z World Food database. You can find all kinds of food facts from around the world. It’s on our homepage under E-Resources, Databases. This library service makes me hungry.

Talking about services reminds me of someone who was on the receiving end of terrible, terrible customer service.

I was working in the Genealogy Room one day when a woman came in desperately needing some help.

It was a hot summer day. Probably about 80 degrees or so outside. This woman had a scarf and a full length buttoned-up winter coat on, which she seemed to be very comfortable in. To protect her identity, I will call her Oprah Winsawhiff.

Before I could ask Oprah Winsawhiff anything, she started asking me questions. “What’s your name. You’re a young guy how old are you? How long you worked here for? What kind of umbrella do you use when it rains? I like the bigger ones. Do you use an umbrella at all? How long has this building been here for? I eat breakfast. Do you eat breakfast? Best meal of the day. The good lord made breakfast to keep the woolly worms woolly.”

I didn’t get a chance to answer but a fraction of all those questions. And what on earth does a woolly worm have to do with breakfast? What does that even mean?

Oprah Winsawhiff then introduced herself “My names Oprah Winsawhiff, but people call me Harpo.”

So I called her Oprah Winsawhiff.

After another torrent of questions I could not possibly answer in a reasonable amount of time, she finally got into the reason she came to the library. “Oooooooh. They are dirty, they are so dirty. You wouldn’t believe the trouble they put an old woman through. I live by myself. I got no one. Oooooooh. They are dirty. They are so dirty!” She said.

I asked, “Who’s dirty? Why are they so dirty? Why didn’t they take a bath?” I really, really wanted to ask about the woolly worms, but I didn’t.

She sternly said, “Young man, let me tell you something about some people you may know something about, but you didn’t know this about them.”

I wanted to scream “What about the woolly worms?”

She continued, “Them dirties told me nothing is wrong with my phone at my house. Them dirties told me, my phone sounds crystal clear. There is something wrong. I’m a widow. I live by myself. I had a handy man come around. Didn’t trust him though. I hide my monies and I watched him the whole time. I don’t trust my monies round some handyman coming around fixing stuff. I don’t think he knew how to fix stuff right to tell the truth. Me and him would go rounds, let me tell you. Nobody does me dirty.”

“Ok.” I said. “So there is something wrong with your landline phone. The phone company told you it sounds crystal clear to them. Did your handyman try to fix your phone?”

Oprah Winsawhiff perplexedly said, “Handyman, I haven’t had a handyman in years. How’s he gonna fix my phone? He dead now. He was dirty anyway. Forgive me Lord for telling the truth.”

I replied, “Oh my! What exactly is wrong with your phone?”

Oprah Winsawhiff replied “Well I like to call my niece in Montecito, California cause we both read those book club books. You know the one’s that talk show lady recommends. My niece hears me sometimes but I can’t hear her. Sometimes I hear her and she can’t hear me. It happens with my son too. I told them dirties. I told em. They said it sounded crystal clear to them. If I wanted it fixed, I have to fix it. How am I supposed to fix it? I’m an old woman. I live by myself. I don’t have anybody.”

It was about this time that I realized that, Tessa Ferrari, another staff member who works next door in our Reference Department, was following our conversation very closely.

Tessa Ferrari came over and asked Oprah Winsawhiff, “Do you want me to call them? I’ll call them right now!”

And she did. Tessa Ferrari called that phone company on the spot and she straightened the whole thing out. Tessa Ferrari used tactics I’d never seen before. Tessa Ferrari didn’t just mention the better business bureau. She made it very clear to the phone company that there are other organizations that deal with bad business practices. I had never heard of these other organizations. But this phone company had heard of them. She saved the day. She was a hero to this old woman that had nowhere else to turn.

A phone company employee immediately came to Oprah Winsawhiff’s house and fixed her phone for free. Then they checked up on her a week later and 2 weeks after that to make sure everything was ok.

But I didn’t get an answer to what the good lord, breakfast and woolly worms have in common. Fortunately, this would not be the last time I would be on an Oprah Winsawhiff adventure.

Thank you all for listening. See you next time.

Thanks for listening to PLSJ’s podcast. Visit us in person at your library branch or online at

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